I feel lost. Like I keep trying to do what I feel is right, but it ends up hurting other people. Should I keep doing that? Hurting others….If i do I’ll disappoint them, but I’ll be doing what I feel I have to. If I don’t, then they won’t change anything, won’t be disappointed or hurt, but I will. And what usually ends up happening is that if I have a choice between someone else getting hurt or me getting hurt…. how would I choose for someone else to feel pain. I wouldn’t want someone else to feel bad. It feels a lot worse knowing that I made someone else feel bad purposely than not to do what I feel is right.

Where do I begin?

Uhm, I guess I should say that I’m not feeling okay. I am not happy. I feel pressured, sad, alone, and tired. But they don’t know that. I’m the “happy one” the one that jokes around with everyone, or at least that’s how it used to be. They know that sometimes I feel a little down, but they don’t know how horrible I actually feel